Thoughts

Yeah, I can whine because this is MY page!!!!

Some of you know I have been involved in a relationship for almost 3 years. There have been ups and downs of this relationship, just like any marriage or any couple goes through. I can understand that part as life is full of all kinds of trials for couples to endure. What happens when you feel like giving up and you do not want to go any further in said relationship? What happens when you totally fall out of love with a person?

Yes, I know the answer to that question is to talk to him and tell him EXACTLY how I feel. I’ve done that and his reply is “I don’t want you to leave” even though I feel it would be the best thing to do! He owns no furniture in the apartment, except for an entertainment center and a couple of bookcases and of course a computer desk. I, on the other hand, have living room furniture, bedroom suite, computer desk, dishes, pots and pans, etc. Why should I have to move since I have more stuff? He says it’s because I want to leave and that HIS name is on the lease. We are under no lease at the present and I was listed on the lease as Occupant!!!

My friends are really great as I can talk to them and the reply is “We will stand by you whatever your decision is.” So I am not pushed either way, but I still want or should I say need someone to tell me what they would do and how they would go about it. I was told over this weekend that the car I did not want back at April, 2006, but signed the note for him to have a car to drive back and forth to work, that I was being used, or his words, “Your credit was being used”. I look at this, USED is being USED, no matter what it is!!! I can not AFFORD this car if we separate as he is making the payments on it, but he doesn’t want it in HIS name because if I leave, HE can not afford the payments on it.

My solution on that problem? I am filing bankruptcy and the car goes!!! I refuse to be held responsible for something I did not want or need. When the bank comes to repossess the car, I won’t have a car to drive as the car I use to have, I sold to pay for a washer and dryer that I needed because he felt that it was ok for me to lug the laundry back and forth to the laundry mat, even I complained so much about the backache from standing to fold the clothes. He had a big problem when I bought the washer and dryer, saying “We can’t afford it”, well it was awful freaking funny that we could afford a $432 car payment before I had it refinanced about seven months ago and it dropped to $375.

I am really at a lost end on what to do or how to go about it. Any input would be greatly appreciated. Please don’t worry about offending me, it’s hard to do!

Have a great Sunday!
Kyra