Emotions still not working as they should
I’ve been experiencing crying spells lately. I can sit and cry over anything with no reason at all and this can last from a half and hour to two or more hours non stop. I talked to my therapist about this again today and she said that my emotions still need time to heal. I’ve been out of the hospital for about six weeks and they are still not as they should be.
My psychiatrist told me that it would take a while for them to improve, but I am seeing him again on Monday, December 3rd at 6:30pm to find out if he can change my medication or increase what I am taking, or do something to help me with the crying spells.
I was on my way to therapy today and about half way there I started crying. Driving down the road with tears streaming down both cheeks. I got to therapy and had to wait a few minutes, so I went to the waiting room, holding my head down so no one could see that I was still crying. The therapist came and got me and I held my head down until we got to her office and the first thing she told me that it was alright to cry. I told her it was happening about every day and I did not know how long I can take this. It’s very stressful to cry and not know why.
I told her that I might try to hurt myself again if it doesn’t stop soon, because I can’t stand living like this. If it isn’t under control within a week of the doctor changing my medication, I think I will ask him if I can go back to the hospital before hurting myself. The thoughts are in the distant right now but they will appear if I don’t get any help with these crying episodes. I can’t take it much longer and I told the therapist the same thing. She said if I thought I needed to go back to the hospital, then I should go before it gets worse for me. Something for me to ponder this week.
So, if any of you read this, please say a prayer or two for me. I really need lots of prayers now.
Happy Holidays to all!
December 1, 2007 at 6:23 pm
Kyra, I’ve had episodes in my life exactly like that… it washes over you in waves… and all the while you’re crying something in the back of your mind says “this is nuts! why can’t I stop?” and maybe it subsides for a minute or two or three and then whoosh! it starts again without warning…
I remembered when it happened to me, I was crying when I called to make the appt. with the shrink… the lady that took my information was really really nice to me and took time out to let me have my crying jags… I have to laugh looking back on it now because I’d compose myself enough to talk to her and then I’d say “there it goes again!” and I’d just start sobbing and I’d blubber over the phone until I composed myself again and this continued off and on in a cycle… It HAS to be a chemical imbalance, that’s all there is to it…
When I went through it I saw a therapist that wanted to put me on meds, but stupid me, for some reason I was afraid to take them so I refused and they didn’t even bother to make another appointment for me after that… (I don’t blame them now, if a person refuses treatment why waste an office visit with them.)
Stick with the meds and keep in touch with your therapist… and let your good friend be there for you…
It is hard because you don’t think there is any hope and you think you will feel this way forever… but time does heal wounds, it isn’t just a cliche’… you WILL NOT feel this way forever… one day you will look back on it as a bad memory, just as I’m doing now…
December 4, 2007 at 11:21 pm
Bella,
I didn’t know that you had crying episodes as well as me at one point in your life. I was on my way to the therapist last Saturday and before I got half way the tears started streaming down my checks and I was still crying when I got there, so I kept my head down until I got to the waiting room and was still crying without why was this happening.
When my therapist came to get me, I had to hold my head down and as soon as we got to her office, low and behold I bursted out in another stage of crying, but right before I did, I said “here it comes again”. My therapist says it okay to cry and she patiently waited until I got my composure and then we talked about it. She told me that I am still healing and it will stop one day.
It’s been two days and I’ve not had a crying spell. My psychiatrist put me back on Trazodone to take at night and it seems to help me from having the crying spells. I could start talking and the tears would start. I got to the point that I did not want to speak at all because of the tears.
On December 15th I am leaving Wilson, NC and moving in with my niece that lives next to Lumberton, NC. It’s about 105 miies to drive an U-haul with a car trailer. I’ve never driven one with a car trailer but I have to get my car there some how. I do think being around my family will help matters too. At least I’ll be there for Christmas instead of being alone or going with my friend out for Christmas dinner at her uncle’s house.
My niece goes and sees her mom (my sister) from time to time. I’ve not seen her since June, because my ex and I never had the extra money for me to go for a few days. He always drove the economy car back and forth to work. So we will go to my sister’s house for Christmas and probably stay a day or so after Christmas. It will be nice to spend some time with her.
I’ve already checked and there is a psychiatrist I can see in Lumberton, which is 13 miles south from where I will be living. I have to wait till I get there for a screening, but I am sure I will be able to see a psychiatrist especially if they pull my records from my psychiatrist and also I’ve only been out of the hospital since October 23rd. I definitely am not recovered from my Major Depression.
I plan to stick to my meds as they seem to help but I feel that I should have progress more than I have, but the therapist told me that some people take longer than some and not to worry about it.
I have to find a therapist when I move too. I think there is one at the place where I will go to see the new psychiatrist, but I can’t see bothh of them on the same day. Medicare has a problem with it and does not allow it. To me that is a crock because I could kill two birds with one stone.
I know in the future I will laugh at the way I have done since I took the overdose. It’s been quite an experience that I did not like in some aspects of it. One in particular was those crying spells. I cried solid for two hours one night non stop. My room mates asked me if I was okay and I said yes, then they asked why was I crying. I barely got out “I don’t know, I can’t stop it”.
Thanks for dropping by and letting me know that I am not the only one that experience the crying. If I can continue like I have for the past two days, I think I’ll be okay. I’ll be glad when my days come that I can look back and say “What a nutcase I was”. Ha ha
Talk soon Bella.
Merry Christmas and all that stuff!
December 15, 2007 at 8:50 am
You probably won’t see this until you get settled… I haven’t checked my feed reader lately so I just now saw that you are moving…
You’re main assignment is to just get through it… I’m glad you are going to be with family… I think this is going to be the best thing…
I’m thinking about you… let us know when you’ve arrived…